This charming historical landmark—by whi ...
This charming historical landmark—by which I mean an awful old building—comes with a complimentary 24/7 industrial vibration concert courtesy of the HVAC system outside. Apparently, 'white noise' is just a suggestion, and earplugs are merely decorative. I've tried everything short of building a soundproof bunker inside my own apartment, which, naturally, my landlord would probably charge me extra for. Speaking of my landlord, they were so understanding about my inability to sleep. They clung to my deposit like a barnacle on a rusty ship, because, you know, 'business is business.' And the management! Oh, the management. They're aware of the 24/7 vibro-fest. Apparently, it's 'acceptable in Florida.' I guess 'acceptable' is code for 'we don't care, enjoy your permanent headache.' The AC inside? Forget climate control, it's a one-setting experience: 'arctic blast.' Feel like you're living in a walk-in freezer at a dairy farm? Perfect for those who dream of shivering in July.
Naturally, any request, even a polite one, is met with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for tax audits. And, of course, they'll happily invoice you for the privilege of asking. Because customer service is just another profit center, right?
Oh, and forget grilling. They're too busy saving on insurance to allow such dangerous activities as cooking your own food. Because, you know, a stray spark might distract from the constant, soul-crushing hum of the HVAC.
The location is, admittedly, quite nice. It's truly a shame that the building itself is a monument to poor construction and even poorer management. For the same price, you could easily rent a brand-new building where the AC doesn't sound like a jet engine and the walls don't vibrate like a tuning fork. And let's not forget the 'reasonable' 3-4 month deposit! Because who doesn't want to hand over a small fortune upfront for the privilege of living in a noise-filled nightmare? In those new buildings, they ask for a mere $600 deposit. How dare they be so reasonable?
In short, if you value your sanity, your sleep, and your hard-earned money, avoid this place like a plague-ridden pirate ship. You've been warned.